9/1/25 & 9/4/25 (i think)

HELLO HOES. i am so inconsistent for when i write these i got hella confused earlier seeing my last entry was in july. i'm gonna try to do them the first few days of every month now but we'll see...
life has been a bit busy this month (august) but not too bad... well it sure felt really bad for a bit but i'm like. ignoring that.
basically i started college and it was like too much going on the first week cuz i had work after school some days too and i have the energy of an elderly sloth so i was so exhausted that i cried too much. Girl the sloth. btw did you guys know that a group of sloths is called a bed, slumber, or snuggle? What the fuck. is sloths entire defining trait just that they're lazy as hell... god i wish that were me
what else do i even say about this... give me a minute

i don't even know. all i know is that i'm obsessed with iyowa's music again and i cannn't stop listening to it omfg best vocaloid producer ever.

it's super serious. i'm actually listening to sleeping pink noise (the best vocaloid album ever) rn but i've put you are innocent monster on loop like 4 times already cuz it's kind of one of my favorite songs ever.

#DaNumbersSpeakForThemselves
but seriously god i love that song....the production is so beautiful istg idk how he does it. the lyrics are also crazy af like damn. and i love the character for this song muko she's very cute

i've been a fan of iyowa for what feels like forever now but i don't keep up with character lore too much maybe i should coz it seems lowkey interesting...
his first album (sleeping pink noise) is my favorite and still his best imo cuz it's so experimental that you can tell he was just doing shit and seeing if it kinda worked and i love music like that so fucking much. also i love seeing the improvement in his drawings since 2019 like look at the difference in iki-chan's drawings 2020 vs 2023 awww

i love this potpourri-san drawing from 2020 though

her, iki, muko, tawari, kinki and yuu are my favorite iyowa girls #Fyi

the line stickers are all so cutesie
also i know iki's name is actually sennen-chan but i like don't gaf....
also why do like half of iyowa's characters have bob's...queen shit
but i will never forget when i first listened to his music....one of my friends in middle school sent me a link to gradual suppuration and was like "bro you gotta listen to this it's crazy as shit" and i did and my mind was blown man. like i was obsessed immediately. thank you to that friend you know who you are. you will probably never see this but if you somehow do just thank you and i hope you're doing well.
also shout out and thank you to the person that made this playlist cuz that's how my friend found it and then sent it to me i'm realizing now this playlist helped me discover a few vloid prod's i love like dennoko-P my goat and mushi-P....crazy

side note i love almost ended so much my 2nd favorite iyowa song...it's so beautiful and perfect...and i'm Pretty sure the whole concept of it is that tawari (the character in that song) is in some kindof time loop and i like it cuz the lyrics kinda repeat over and over for the whole song and then the song fades in in the intro and then fades out at the end like it could loop forever. really perfect song to do this concept to cuz i really could loop this song forever and ever

i just love vocaloid in general so much (╥﹏╥)
also i will never not be mad at the fact that i don't own an official sleeping pink noise cd and probably never will.

the disc is so pretty...

(this was auto-translated so the "i don't understand anymore" is more like "i don't know right now" i'm pretty sure) i'm holding out a little hope for a reissue because of this question he answered in a faq post but...... he originally sold it as a doujin cd for a pretty short time afaik so idk how hard it is to release it under a label now... but let's hope it happens one day #hope #pray #optimism
and i know i could just burn it onto a blank disc but i just love spending money and owning official things because i literally suck.

but anyways wtf i was talking about college. i'm gonna continue this tomorrow cuz i wanna dig in my butt and play yakuza before i go to sleep buhbye

i'm back and i'm gonna keep talking about college i guess. i realized all i do nowadays is just watch south park and do college work and idk if that's sad or what but i think it's hilarious.
speaking of sp there's a new episode tomorrow and it;s about labubu's? and i don't think there will be any creek scenes they are breaking my heart man but i think this ep will legit be funny so i'm still excited. i've actually liked all the episodes this season so far surprisingly. but i still really need a creek episode or i might actually die 1 2 3 I WANT YURI
ok update i watched it and it was so funny and i think butters is over his bushphobia #characterdevelopment i told my mom about it the morning after and she was like "ellos estan bien locos recientemente" but i didn't even mention the satan trump mpreg part. The very concept of mpreg being canon in south park with these specific characters too........... best show ever

Ok back to this. i started college on the 18th and it's been fineeee.......nothing crazy except that now i have like no free time so it's kinda like i get why college students are all depressed now but i don't wanna be depressed again so i'm just gonna try to have a balance. as long as i get to watch sp during every meal and listen to vocaloid and play yakuza at the end of the day i'm literally Okay. like seriously....i am very easy to please. but this interest list omg am i 14 again
the only thing that pisses me off is that i can't even get the fucking weekends off cuz i have WORK😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i can't quit cuz then i'll have no income and then i'll be broke..... and if i'm broke....i'll be sad.. so basically i can't win either way. #FUCKCAPITALISM

i was seriously considering quitting the other day cuz i was sooo pissed off cuz ISTG my managers love to bother me over the most minuscule things man. my mom says it's part of my "complejo de persecucion" but no i swear they have something against me. god forbid a girl be young and turnt. i know no one will believe me if i don't give details but i'm leaving that for therapy tomorrow just cuz it pisses me off to even think about it🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄but just know i hate my job so much that the other day i cried so hard cuz i realized i had work in 2 days. like. ok maybe that's just me being dramatic but well what am i supposed to do. basically i need a new job Bad but it's practically impossible for me to get one rn cuz i can only work weekends cuz of uni. Fuck my chungus life.
moving on.
oh wait kind of related to work cuz i did this like 20 minutes after clocking out of one of the worst shifts of my life, i got tickets for Lamp in orlando (˙༥˙( i am very excited. i hope they play hiyayakana jokei....and they better fuking play yume utsutsu or i'm rioting just kidding but i will be sad i've dreamt of hearing that song live for like 4 years and i know damn well they're not coming back to this hellish city for a while after this show😂 good for them i wish i could do the same
i ahve to stop switching topics. i said the first week [of college] was fine but i will say i got lost the first day and i literally almost had a panic attack so like damn bitch can you chill.. and i have a 5 hours drawing class on every friday that i know is probably gonna drive me literally insane at some point this semester. i was already ripping my hair out the other day cuz i couldn't get part of a still life i had to do right but then when i showed it in class the next day everyone thought it was pretty good so like damn bitch can you chill.. i seriously need to just relax. like 90% of time i have a problem it could very easily be solved by me just chilling tf out.
but i think i might've made a friend in said drawing class (˶• ᴗ •˵) or at least i hope we've only talked a little but i'm gonna like force us to be friends (not literally i'm just gonna talk to her whenever i get a chance) cuz she seems cool. so i think that will make this class a lot more tolerable thank goodness. tip to the dorks who don't know how to make friends (me) just go up to someone with keychains on their bag and say "i like your keychains" even if you don't know wtf they're from cuz they will 90% chance just be excited you even said anything about them and talk to you about them. easy peasy
also a guy in my class drew sheena ringo and i was like holy fuck cuz i loveee sheena ringo and actually talked to him. this social anxiety shit is easy😂

ok the pic i took is literally so bad but i didn't wanna ask to take a pic cuz it felt weird but i wanted to show my mom so. sorry. but it was a really good drawing like omg. but part of the convo i talked to him i was like "do you know who that is?" and he was like "no do you?" and i said "yeah she's sheena ringo she's a japanese rock singer ( ᵔ ᴗ ᵔ )" and he was like "well i just found the pic on pinterest but thanks for telling me" which i thought was funny but this is her most iconic pic literally ever so i was not surprised at all. btw it's from the 2000年3月号『Gb』 magazine if anyone cares and here's scans of it from the lovely @ringoarchive on twitter
sometimes i look at her and i'm just like "how can someone be this fierce....." la amo
one cool thing about that drawing class is the professor is chill and lets us recommend songs for her to play on the class speakers. i recommended girl like me by pinkpantheress and supernatural by newjeans of course... and she decided to play girl like me again at one point and it was so funny to me i asked her why and she said "well it's not a bad song" maybe she'll be my favorite professor this semester
she also played make up by the deep (cool k-indie artist) and i drew tiny creek on my sketchbook

oh and that same day i got a very important package in the mail....

tweek...i spent a kind of embarrassing amount of money on him but i literally don't care. plus $100 for a vintage (are 2001 items vintage?) plush that's no longer in production is lowkey not bad if you really think about it..(don't listen to me i,m crazy and financially irresponsible)
but i love him so much. Son i love you so much. i love you so much that i broke every generational curse that my father couldn't break. I underst

if you haven't watched sp part of his character is that he has....well his mom calls it ADD in the show but his parents are literally crazy what it actually is is that he is a caffeine and meth addict basically. i will not explain this further.
but because of this and his extreme paranoia he's shaking literally all the time so his plush shakes too. now idk how this seller managed to keep his batteries or whatever it is working for literally like 20 years but they did and i think it's hilarious

my mom said he's ugly and i agree but please don't say it to his face....he's already gone through enough...
and my dog hates him because he is homophobic🙄dogs these days


this was his face right after i recorded the video of the plush shaking when i tell you i was DEAD like whathsjkdhiyhdi i had literally never seen him make this face beforeklejhfyguhjk

southparkposting on neocities feels so weird cuz everyone here likes like anime or homestuck or something and i'm here talking about south park. this is proof that you do not choose your hyperfixations. also i'm not judging ily guys i guess i just feel a little left out. i mean my website's k-on themed but. yk. but i will not be silenced (unfortunately)
i think i'm gonna get a craig plush too he doesn't have a vintage one (not that i've seen) so i wanna get this one where he's flipping you off but it's sold out rn life is so unfair...
but i feel bad having tweek just by himself in my head these 2 are inseparable nowadays if you separate them for too long they'll die. omfg this just reminded me of a dream i had a bit ago.
and i quote (from my twitter aka my diary) "i had a dream that they made a sp episode where satan was trying to get tweek and craig to break up by distancing them from each other and trying to get craig to cheat on him with one of the other kids and that is such an insane idea for an episode it would actually be hilarious"
"craig would be on the verge of throwing up being away from tweek for more than 15 minutes though so idk if this could even begin to work. clingy ass"
"and i think tweek would die of stress cuz craig is like a support system of his atp so basically they would both die being distanced from each other for too long. how adorable"
end quote. "how adorable"..... yeah sure. this would actually be a funny episode and i realized they haven't had one of them 2 in 6 ALMOST 7 YEARS......
the craziest part is that put it down (the most recent creek ep) is like top 5 in the show #Lowkey.....like it's so funny and cute ( ;´ - `;) every episode with tweek is actual gold though like he has 0 misses. that run in season 6 (professor chaos to child abduction is not funny) where he was one of the main boys......actually legendary they might never top that in terms of episode runs. well they could if they did the same with creek but we all know that's not happening😂

also random but it's been over a year since black midi disbanded........i hate everyone and i don't wanna talk about it.

anyways i think i'm finally out of shit to say. i know. i'm shocked too. here's the piccies

7/25/25 & 7/30/25

hi
i never know how to start these
life has been chill this past month. not much happened which is genuinely how i prefer things to be. i am starting college in less than a month but that's like....not what we're talking about right now dude...
something important that happened recently is that i finished yakuza 5 after like 2 months i swear idk why it took me so long but it genuinely felt longer than the others cuz you literally play as 5 different characters with 5 completely different stories in 5 completely different parts of japan. like wtf. also the stories are connected to each other in a way but they are all also very different like one is an ex-yakuza now taxi driver, another is an ex-yakuza now prison escapee, another is..an ex-orphan now jpop idol (this one was my favorite), another is whatever the fuck akiyama is, another is shinada my baby...i mean ex-baseball player now broke adult-magazine-journalist. if that sentence didn't make you wanna play the game then idk what will. also there's a fishing minigame that i suck at
bro the ending to y5 was actually nuts like.... idek how to begin talking about it. it just kept getting better and better as it progressed like. i loved it. the way everyones stories merged together into one big beautiful ending was just lovely.

click the little arrow here for the rest of my current yakuza 5 thoughts but SPOILERS PLAY IT IF YOU HAVEN;T PLAY THIS WHOLE SERIES IT'S GOOD. and it has YAOI. and men if you're into that. if you're not then it just has yaoi. and if you're not into that either then like the story is good or something

the aizawa fight made me laugh at first cuz it really was random as hell but yk what. i liked it. it was honestly kind of epic....the yakuza series hype moments and aura allegations are definitely true and idgaf i love it.
but it was genuinely such an amazingly written ending. i will miss shinada though i have a feeling he is not gonna come back speaking of shinada..i think this was my fave scene out of the whole ending


the random parallel between haruka and shinada's stories/dreams was so so good and made me emotional.... my two goats
the whole ongoing theme of dreams was just very sweet :,) i loved it a lot

this made me sick....haruka.....kiryu................
if i started talking about their dynamic you would literally never hear the end of it.
what haruka chose to do honestly was probably a bit controversial but honestly i think it was the best decision she could've done. and i loved her being an idol a lot...but she said she didn't want to live a lie forever and that's what she would've had to do if she went through with the idol stuff. unfortunately. i just hope and pray that she actually gets to live happily with kiryu again after all this like seriously...
just the sequencing of the ending was amazing ಥ﹏ಥ thinking back on it....damn
honestly, i suck bad at writing about things i love in a way that makes sense to anyone but me (even i don't understand it sometimes) but just know i loved this ending a lot. it made me feel a lot of emotions. good and bad ones. and i think if something has that effect on me it's good. tbh call me whateva you want but i don't really rate things based on how good the plot is or whatevs, i just rate it based on how it made me feel. and this ending was definitely a 10/10 to me. the whole game was amazing too! so much fun to follow and the new gameplay with haruka was very refreshing lol. after 4 games filled with testosterone and fighting gameplay that i still suck at it was nice to play as a girl around my age with rhythm game gameplay instead...i'm probably biased though cuz i've been a rhythm game crackhead since i was like 10 years old bro. also i don't hate the fighting i just suck at it. but i lowkey suck at videogames in general despite them being one of my biggest interests ever so how does that work idk either man.
also the y5 ending made me laugh a lot sometimes cuz this series even in semi-serious moments has to do some troll ass shit. like when shinada almost fell into the sewer water and saejima picked him up and threw him onto the enemy all cartoon-like like. Ok bro. also this BIG ASS LOCK THEY HAD ON MAJIMA HAD ME DEAD Likefjekhugyfbhjkj

just so fucking stupid bro...
also this.

like i'm crying he's so stupid i love shinada's dumbass i'm gonna miss him like he literally made me kind of interested in baseball for a sec like. i usually zone out immediately whenever a man starts talking about sports so that's like real talent right there. i think i just thought he was cute.
and him and daigo were a cute 20 minute dynamic too... i loved them together the dynamic was adorable. it's like the typical grumpy x sunshine thing but yk what i'm a basic ass bitch cuz that's one of my favorite ship dynamics. it just literally always works man. Shinadai...
i was gonna put more screenshots but my dumbass usb won't connect to my laptop and i don't know how to fix it. i'll just do it when i do the videogames page in about 2 years...
but i will still put some pics i took with my phone that i think are notable

this dumbass sidestory bruh

but bruh basically this game was awesome and the ending was perfect. NEXT TOPIC

this month i've had the misfortune of getting really back into south park... i never stopped liking it but i hadn't been hyperfixated on it in years... i'm actually addicted to the second game (the fractured but whole (dumbass name)) like it's so fun for no reason
the funny thing is the hyperfixation didn't come back because of the new season or a fandom resurgence or anything i just. randomly couldn't stop thinking about tweek so i sat my ass down and watched the prof chaos episode (which is also the one where tweek is picked to be the 4th boy for a while) and then i just kept watching it...and then i played the game...and i remembered there was a new season coming out...and i'm..buying merch... it's a whole thing.
if that sentence didn't make it obvious enough my favorite character is tweek. my son with every disease

he's so chopped it's crazy. i was only watching his episodes for a bit (aka until i ran out of episodes centered around him) and he is lowkey the best character of all time.
i wish he had more episodes centered around him like he's just the best. "gnomes" is like top 5 episodes in the show for me it's so stupid and it's his debut episode like he's just a babyboy there....
season 6 also has him a lot cuz SPOILERS kenny dies like semi-permanently at the end of season 5, and for god knows what reason they chose tweek as his replacement. like out of everyone i feel like tweek was the most random ass choice ever ajkfkhbsrghj maybe he was a fan favorite at the time so matt and trey were like "i guess we'll show him more for our dumbass fans" jk i think they actually like their fans. somehow. i mean they featured a shit ton of fan submitted fanart for tweek x craig and i don't think you can do that if you hate your fans. i love that episode btw...it's literally hilarious. yaoi as a plotpoint just in theory is hilarious in a show like this. the way it had a 16 season buildup too (cuz of tweek vs craig in s3) is... the anticipation was killing me
yaoi is also a plotpoint in the fractured but whole and it's still hilarious. well idk if "plotpoint" is the right word but there's a quest where you have to find all the yaoi art around the town for craig's dad?

i would never lie about something like this.
i'm only missing like 5 rn and i have to say some of this art is way too freaky like who the actual hell is drawing this shit. one of them i literally screamed in terror when i saw it.

but this one made me crack the fuck up this kind of dynamic for them is so funny. tweek's parents in the back too is so funny they literally only support him when he's gay like whatagtydhghjkedekbhjhrgrlwjhg
crazy warning ahead...
bro. i don't give a shit about anuthing i love creek so much CRYING EMOJI my ugly ass kids i could cry right now. i miss 2023 where everyone and their mothers were drawing them like.... what happened to that. it felt like true peace on earth that year...... like everyone was drawing gay sp fanart and newjeans had just released omg and get up ep. now NO ONE IS GAY and NEWJEANS ARE INACTIVE. FUCK MY LIFE.
i would usually say "moving on" but i just can't move on from this. MY CHUD KIDS they are so disgusting.... but you know what's more disgusting these fandom hoppers man what happened to loyalty bro. istg,... nobody likes shit for more than a month these days. #AusticticallyInterestedInThings
i was literally in the break room at work earlier today on the verge of tears over som fanart of them man. like it's way too serious for me man. this is the one that nearly killed me. it's so disgustingly cute and sweet that i feel like i got a heart disease just looking at it. you know i may be a fucking loser but at least i'm not a broke loser 😂 except i lowkey am
also jesus christ man. can he chill the fuck out.


anyways just know if they don't appear once in season 27 and i stop updating the site it's probably because i killed myself.

also in tfbw they were beefing for a bit and it was funny but they made up because of course they did 🙄

here's me with their co-parented guinea pig Stripe og my god craig is so fucking ugly. i feel like i need to censor him or something

there. jesus christ. don't i look funny i found this bra on my head maybe like 20 minutes into the game and i'm now like 20 hours into it and i have not taken it off once. i think it genuinely suits me. and the raisins outfit was just funny af to me (raisins is like the sp universe's hooters) and well i like the color scheme

and here's me with butters and one of his hamsters. you do not want to know what ended up happening to this hamster.
also look at anime tweek so moe sugo kawaiiii

yes this is actually in the game
anime craig is lowkey scary so i'm not showing him
ok but maybe it's me but this game is genuinely so fun if you like sp play it bro it's on gamepass rn and you can stream it on your laptop if you wanna save yourself the embarrassment of playing it on the tv. it's ridiculously addicting too...and you get to hit them

i'm done talking about sp for the sake of whoever's reading this. actually idc cuz this is my blog and my wesbite so i can do whatever i want on here. i mean i care you reader but.
Ok i'm doing this for my own sake so i don;t go insane. have 2 creek clips and 1 clip of me jumping out of butters bedroom window to finish this horrible section off.

NEXT TOPIC.

like i mentioned in the beginning of this entry i am going to college very very soon....i am so fucking nervous but also a little excited. i really hope this goes well for me. i am honestly mostly excited to have an excuse to dress up most days again.
i picked a degree i actually liked so i kind of need it to actually be enjoyable or i'll...kill myself... that's the second time i've threatened suicide this entry. i promise i'm just joking
but i wanna try to make more friends...... i need this anxiety bullshit to end already like i'm sooooo over it at this point. my therapist said i seem to be making some progress but very very slowly lmaaooo and i was like "wow there's no hope for me"... but then she was like "you're too negative" and i shut my ass up. she's right really but......idk what to say she's just right bruh. but old habits die hard or something change is hard.... i think i really am getting better though and that's all that matters. maybe.
am i sharing too much for a public neocities blog entry? i donno... but anyways she said she's gonna refer me to a psychiatrist cuz i guess i am just that bad but. like honestly anxiety is the dumbest shit ever and i have too much of it for my own good so if some pills are the only way to help me then you know what. i'll take it... i suck at taking pills though so i;m gonna have to figure that out first.
like i said i do think i've gotten better over the years, just very slowly... progress is progress but bruh can i just be normal already. i mean with that entire last section i think definitely not.
NEXT TOPIC

there's lowkey not much else to say....i replayed undertale and it's still like my fave game ever. i know. i'm a queer stereotype... but it just has such a special place in my heart man. here's what i wrote for the undertale memories thing mr fox did a few days ago

i'm very glad to permanently be a part of undertale history as mettaton's strange lesbian fan. 10 year old me would be very proud.
if he uploads these anywhere and you see this one just know it's mine!! i hope he does a gallery of them or something cuz i'd love to see what everyone else wrote and drew. even though i know like a good 40% of them will just be shitposts it's still very cute
here's pics from my undertale replay i did this month


this was actually killing me man

"i don't really like that guy but i admire his lifestyle." that's how i feel about mettaton too
but i love undertale so mach....i can't believe i almost forgot Death by Glamour and Your Best Nightmare are 2 of the best videogame ost songs ever.
i literally bought it on my switch to play it btw cuz i had only ever played it on my laptop and also on my h*cked sw*tch DON'T TELL ANYONE I HAVE THAT. my dad hacks everything but with the switch i'm so on edge about it all the time man. i feel like n*nte*do are gonna kill me or something. i feel like i'm gonna get shot just typing this. i remember one time on twitter i said something bad about them and my account was locked for like a week and i had to delete the post. like i'm actually scared bro
also speaking of mettaton i found these screenshots on my old macbook Oh yeah i got a new macbook this month too. i lowkey forgot that was super recently. it's a silver 2024 m4 macbook air...yeah i'm on that rich people shit my dad payed for it then i gave him $500 which is like maybe 60% of the price so like yeah i am rich. ladies one at a time please... i still owe him $200 and i lowkey don't wanna pay him back like that's literally my entire paycheck man.
anyways as i was saying... i found these screenshots on my old macbook of when i was obsessed with undertale (again for the 16th time) and would replay it like every week and this is what i said to mettaton during his essay response back in 2021

i've been the realest for years now

i need to stop writing these so late at night istg i'm never in my right mind at 2am but that's the time i decide to write these. now i just look insane. but i think if i wrote these during the day i would still sound insane.
also i don't actually hate fandom hoppers even though i kinda do that was just a joke....i hate people who like something whrn it's trendy then when it stops being trendy they're like "i never liked this shit anyways" like bitch you drew two of the characters kissing like 2 days ago what are you on. but if you just change interests often in a normal way i still love you cuz that's me too bruh.

this is almost definitely my worst entry yet. if anyone managed to read this one all the way through i feel like you deserve a reward. the reward = a picture of my cat. here you go

she looks quite frazzled here. she's just like her mother
here is the image dump i love you stranger goodbye.



i also just realized i've mentioned yuri and/or yaoi in 3/4 blog entries here so far.
also i miss njz so much.

6/18/25-6/21/25

i'm literally back you guys.
happy pride month to everyone. love you gays. so much.
did you guys know black midi have 4 gay songs? that's your fun fact of the day don't forget it
did you guys also know they made a taylor swift song of all things gay? they were literally just doing anything

also Still the most beautiful song they ever wrote (thank you cam)

bmbmbm
i don't plan these out at all i just think of shit as i go so i was gonna write that i don't remember at all what i've done recently but bitch i literally graduated high school. and i went on a cruise. this memory problems shit is no joke
but yeah graduation was cool. the ceremony itself was cool bro when we were walking to our seats everyone was cheering i was like damn is this what it feels like to be famous…. also i luckily sat in the front (we had assigned seats) so i didn't have to have someones big ass head in front of me while i watched
the student body prez's speech was very cute and funny i can tell she put genuine effort into it i honestly loved it. even though i...didn;t even know she was student body prez until that day but i knew like maybe 10 people in that school so.
but hers was great and so was the like almost valedictorian dude like the guy behind the valedictorian iykwim idek what his title was. but brah i swear the actual valedictorians speech was written by ai or some shit...or he went hella generic for literally no reason. chatgpt moving like 2024 aespa
fuck ai btw
butnjsnchv the ceremony was cool... i didn't cry but it was very scary going on stage i didn't even look at the crowd i just shook (i literally wrote shaked instead of shook at first how did i graduate) all the people on stages hands and got my diploma cover and went where we were supposed to go LOL... but i did do a little wave and peace sign towards my family in the crowd i have a video of it and it's so funny
they didn't tell us to throw our caps at the end but i and a lot of other people did it anyways and it was so sweet and kinda like euphoric and i hugged my friend rly hard at the end :,) i will never forget that part…
also there was a girl at the ceremony who wore like the goth white face makeup and she was rocking that shit i love goths so bad
and there was also a guy who brought a stack of cash on stage and did a money spread on stage and i was like well sure. honestly it was corny but i also kinda loved it like. what an idea. men are so interesting to me
but i'm so happy i graduated!!! i really hated high school for the most part, there were very few things i liked from it. i'm grateful for the friends i made though. and also for giving me the time to listen to so much music on the daily while i did my work seriously that was awesome
as kero kero bonito once said... "I'd like to thank my pets, my friends, my family; I didn't learn a thing anyway!"


slight tangent but whenever i decide to rewatch k-on again i might legit kill myself this time now that i'm graduated... i remember on the definitely illegal anime website i used to watch it a while back (i think it was aniwave omg RIP) i saw this lenghty comment under one of the last episodes talking about how they wished their hs experience was like the one in the show... how they regretted not being able to make many friends... etc... and it stuck to me a bit... it's probably because i can definitely relate. i don't regret much from hs and i don't like comparing myself to anyone but. maybe i wish i just wish i did more. it's not like i don't or didn't have friends but i never went out with them or did really anything in general... i was very much a loner. and i again don't regret it much cuz that's just my personality but... idk i can't say i wasn't a little jealous of the k-on girls literally being in a sick ass band together like bruh. maybe i just wish i could play guitar maybe that's it
but seriously this show means a lot to me, and helped make highschool a little more tolerable for me. it has its flaws but it is so important to me (if you couldn't tell...) and the ending... i really couldn't listen or even think about tenshi no furetayo without crying for a While LOL. it's really very sweet and it revolving around music made it soooo much better. it's so dear to me... ok tangent done. this screenshot just reminded me of what it was like to finish k-on for the first time and i got a bit emotional about it perdoname
dududududu
i also mentioned i went on a cruise that was true i did not lie... i would never lie.
it was cool but man wtf there was no slides on the boat. and i didn't go rock climbing cuz i forgot to bring sneakers or boots. and my dad was being an ass the whole trip. and i didn't bring a swimsuit cuz i thought my mom packed it but she didn't (not her fault but damn). but the food was hella bomb


related to the first pic, i brought my usagi keychain plush on the cruise. but bitch i almost lost them though cuz it fell off my bag in The Bahamas like i was gonna cry seriously. but i walked fast af to get on the boat cuz i was so upset and i saw this little girl holding it and my anxiety just left my body and i went up to her and was like "hi did you find that on the ground?" she said yes and gave it back and her dad said "you see it worked out" so i guess they weren't planning on keeping it in the first place...what a nice family. i guess there really are still kind people out there guys
also i'll put more cruise pics on the eventual photography page #staytuned
is anyone else severely attracted to queen from deltarune in like a super serious way?
deltarune chapters 3 and 4 came out earlier this month..!!!! they were so fun i loved them. i love that game.
but Bro suselle…..Stop. they are way too cute i was literally giggling and kicking my feet at their scenes like it was super serious.
i was honestly stressing after i finished chapter 4 though like bruh......bruh. what is going to happen. i have like no reason to think this will happen but ISTG if noelle dies i'm killing everyone. ok not literally but i'm avoiding weird route like the plague cuz i don't wanna hurt her but these coke rant theories i've seen on twitter are killing me man
if anyone other than like berdly dies something bad will happen. jk i like berdly but god he's so ejkfnjhkebg

slight spoilers here sorry!!... click the arrow to read the rest of my recent deltarune thoughts

tenna is very cute in the like moe way to me. i like the yaoi of him and mettaton i've seen too. literally the most randomest pairing ever but it's really great i like this fanart i saw today it's sooo cute. i literally only use twitter to look at fanart bruh. also queen is there...(tongue emoji) i need her so bad you guys don't understand. let me stop. wait speaking of queen queentenna i found out today is also a thing... i waited 3 and a half years a tv did it in one week. jk i like it it's funny and queen is...
lets' move on...
my favorite boss fight was def the YOUR TAKING TOO LONG pumpkin thing (i don't remember the name) it was too funny and fun and cute at the end when you see what they actually look like... Cute...
i really wonder who the knight is everyone is saying it's dess i wonder if it actually is her that would Also be the most randomest shit ever jk it would make sense. i think
overall the chapters were great the suselle moments brah......it's even funnier how realistic their relationship is like did toby fox study teenage lesbianism before writing them or what. also they're butchfemme like that is literally the cutest thing ever just kill me now bro. you know if they end up being doomed i swear on my own life that i will kill someone.
@tobyfox my requests for chapter 5: another hot woman boss (a la Queen), more suselle yuri moments (pretty much guaranteed if they do actually go to the festival together), hmm...actually can queen just come back? Por favor! also can i be in the game? i can be an npc that's just a little hamster or maybe a centipede. whatever fits with the chapter theme as long as i'm cute and small. if i have a boss fight make me incredibly weak and easy to kill but i'm so cute that no one will want to kill me. Arigato!

in other news not much else has happened...Thank god. but i'm going to college soon *shivers*...Jk i'm kinda hyped. not really. i lied sorry.
i got accepted for financial aid so hopefully fingers crossed i won't have to pay for any of my classes!!...what a relief honestly like i'm broke. i'll still have to check if it covers both years, but even if it doesn't i'm not super worried cuz my college has some scholarships i can sign up for plus you can apparently work at their library to pay off your tuition??? pretty cool if true
i hope i get some money left over so i can get myself a new laptop my current one is like super slow a lot of the time and dies rly fast when it's not plugged in...So not like ideal for college yk. i've been trying to save myself for it but if i have money left over it'll take so much stress off my shoulders so like Please god omg. i wanted to buy tacos for myself (and my mom) today cuz i was starving but i was like "i need to save..." like i am not built for this i need those tacos man
and if anyone is wondering what i'll be majoring in...for now it's graphic design. yes...i'm an art major..who would've guessed.
it's either that or photography but i think i'll stick to graphic design cuz the photography job market i've hard is quite dull...but i mean is the graphic design one really that much better. Lol. i'm just gonna do what i want and hope for the best liek always...(thumnbs up emoji)

and more news, i am going back to therapy yayyy hopefully yay
this is maybe tmi but i had a bad panic attack the other day and i immediately went to my mom cuz after i had one a whilee back where i swear i felt like i was gonna die she said to always come to her when i feel one start. love you mami. i slept in her bed that night it was very nice...
but the next day we talked about me going back to therapy so i am going to do that....i hope it turns out well. i need to start like just saying everything i'm feeling and maybe it will work.
this program is weird though cuz it's lol i think every other week and the sessions are short like 30 minutes long that's why i'm doubtful about it... but idk. I guess we'll see!
i usually don't talk about mental health stuff like this with literally anyone so this is a little weird for me but yk maybe that's why i'm so fucked up cuz i never talk to anyone about my problems. plus i'm def not the only mentally unwell person on neocities lol #We'reAllInThisTogether
you see yall even i (a perfect person) have my own problems #Nobodysperfect
that was a joke
also i wanna hangout with my friends so bad but i am again trying to save...life is so hard.

onto something completely different i love sheena ringo recently she's sooo talented and genius. i love her album Kalk Samen Kuri no Hana a lot i heard it a few months ago and it has not left my rotation since like it's so good. i also listened to her album Shouso Strip the other day and it's also great i'm obsessed with the song "Kyogenshou" ugghh it's amazing.
"Crime and Punishment" and "Honnou" are also incredible she has such a great voice. that music page will be done before summer ends if it isn't...i'll kill myself. Just kidding



well i think that's all i have to say i will let the images speak for themselves
actually i have one more thing to say: i think i might've gotten scammed on ebay over a kpop photocard and i am so deeply embarrassed.

UPDATE 6/23: i did not get scammed it literally got here today lol. now i can proudly say i've never been scammed on ebay. the whole $12 kpop photocard thing is still pretty embarassing though

ok here's the pictures

5/3/25 but at like 12am - 5/6/25

(yes it took multiple days...i was busy)

i'm back hoes....i did not forget to write an entry last month i just couldn't find the time to write it i guess. i am...employed now....i know. i'm shocked too. but it's been good, the job i mean... it's a little boring but my coworkers are mostly nice, i don't get an exhausting amount of hours, & the pay is pretty good especially since literally like 80% of my paycheck goes towards music related merch (mostly cd's). Sorry for having autism
what else...
OMG. How could i forget... i got a kitten!!!!! she is the cutest most perfect little thing i love her so so much. and i think she loves me too ^_^

her name is Chaeri. i named her after an amazing magdalena bay song that you should listen to Right Now. she is such a little rascal it's so funny...she runs around so much she has way more energy than i thought she would. typical black and white cat behavior...
i also have a bajillion scratches on my body now cuz of her. but it's ok, i think it's her way of telling me she loves me. anyways i'm so happy i got her. i've wanted a cat for yearsss i'm lucky that my cousins cousins sister (lol) was giving out kittens for free too....but i would've payed billions for chaeri. hypothetically
onto the next thing
i went to prom... i mentioned i would last entry and i did go even though i cried the day of cuz i felt uglay...i'm sorry women. but i felt pretty later so idk maybe it was cuz i was wearing a bunch of makeup and i cut my hair a lot it was just too much change but Wow i am so glad i chopped half of my hair off like best decision of my life. i feel so free now.....
i won't put a pic of me (for privacy reasons also i'm scared) but i looked cute! trust me...you trust me right?
but i will put these pictures of all the hair i got chopped off on the ground (peep the south park shorts in the corner), these little desserts they had at prom (cheesecake and chocolate cake, they were both pretty good), and my dog being super shy

but prom was kindof mid...like just not much happened. and they played drake like literally wtf. but all the girls looked gorgeous. and i love seeing beautiful women. so that made it alright. it was also fun to hang out with my friend for a few hours of course and talk about random shit with her
idk how to do dividers in a normal way ok
on to more important events, i played yakuza 3 last month and omg why do people hate this one??? i thought it was so good....the doomed yaoi was like kinda crazy.
the only thing i didn't like was lmao them just verbatim explaining the plot for a whole chapter like yes it was hilarious and i don't always think that's a bad way to explain the plot (Chapter 9: The Plot) of a game or whatever But....i feel like it could've been done better no se...it was lowkey just boring the way they did it
but that (and maybe the fighting being harder for no reason idk is that just a skill issue or is it literally harder than 0 k1 and k2) was my only complaint... it was great. not my favorite yakuza game but it's up there. i mean i've only played like 4 of the games so far but whatever
i love mine... my beautiful toxic gay evil son. He isn't evil he just has a lot to learn
omg and don't even get me started on daigo i love that ugly ass freak....he's like my fave character in the series i lowkey get a kawaii overload when i see him even though he's literally ugly asfuck

JUMPSCARE WARNING him for reference. if you think he's cute or whatever good for you but i personally need him dead.
also back to yakuza 3 bruh i loved the sections where it was legit just kiryu caring for the kids at morning glory peak yakuza gameplay. i'm playing y4 rn and it's pretty good i like the new characters my fave is lowkey akiyama he's funny and just his face is funny to me i can't explain it

i can't remember what else happened last month
hmmm
oh bcnr's new album was great!! i love love love two horses and nancy and for the cold country... two horses is like my favorite song of theirs by far rn. you'll see more written about it once i finish the music page...so not very soon but it's #coming! at like some point
i listened to some good music last month
i also bought cd's like i mentioned (i think) earlier. i officially started my collection this month ^_^ here's a little look at those~

i love cd's so much i'm actually going to a record store this saturday maybe, if it's interesting enough i'll do a little entry about it afterwards on here.
this entry was a lot messier than the last one um...i guess i just don't give a fuck...just kidding i do. love you all
also remember how i said my coworkers are mostly nice? my new manager is an ASSHOLE talking shit about me behind my back and giving me less hours cuz she doesn't like closing with me motherfucker you are 35 beefing with a 17 year old like what are we doing here. god take all of njz's pain and give it to my new manager wtf
well i think i'm done writing. now, the moment you've all been waiting for... the JPEG'S.

byebye!

3/25/25

phewww this page is finally up! not by the time i'm typing this but by the time you, the reader, are seeing this. btw hello~ thanks for reading hehe
i've been working on this site since probably last summer when i was at the peak of my k-on hyperfixation (hence the entire site's theme) and also i remembered neocities existed. i do still love k-on a lot, it's still probably my favorite anime ever but i'll admit i don't watch anime much. but there's something about k-on that's special to me. i can't quite describe it. maybe everything about it? idk.

i was looking for the imgur post where i found every background i've used for this site (minus the homepage's, i found that one on pinterest) and it was linked in a reddit post and the above image was a reply someone left on said post. it feels really relevant. and made a little sentimental. but almost everything has that effect on me really.
moving on, life recently has been pretty ok! i've found out some crazy family related personal stuff (too personal to share) that has made me a little nervous, scared, etc. sometimes i wish i wasn't so empathetic because it's not even my situation yet i emotionally feel as if i'm experiencing it first hand. but i also feel lucky to be so empathetic in a world where it seems like no one even cares about each other anymore! Wow i sounded old there. it's ok.
but seriously i'm okay. i was a bit depressed this week because i got sick and food started to taste bad because of it (somehow i always get sick on school breaks) but i think i'm pretty much healed now. school starts again tomorrow though... which is never good. but i'm kinda excited to listen to my routine walking to class songs and see my friend again. prom is soon, i can't say i'm too excited though i'm just not really a party person at all. dat social anxiety + autism combo really hits when i'm at a party with a bunch of people i'm not very fond of, and i honestly am not very fond of a lot of people at school lol. it's not like i hate everyone but ugh...
but yesterday i went to the mall and bought a very gorgeous dress and also something that i'd say is much more important...

usagi! IYAAAAHAAA!
has anyone else noticed that (i'm pretty sure) usagi is the only character in chiikawa whose dialogue is written in katakana instead of hiragana? i think it's because they're so loud. i love that. that's so funny. they were also the only character i saw plushies of at miniso, not even chiikawa themself had any plushies left. this chiikawa shit gets serious.
when i got home i was exhausted as always (i have the energy of a like 80 year old, i actually think an 80 year old might have more energy than me), i just hung out with my mom and we at like 8pm went out in pj's to buy taco bell. i always love doing little things like that with family. i remember one time i stayed at my cousins and we randomly one night, again in pj's, went to walmart to buy i think just food or maybe milk. idk why that was so great. ...
i did the dishes then my nightly listening to music while scrolling pinterest before going to bed around 12am. i listened to western by bm for like an hour. everything about that song is just perfect. i also listened to basketball shoes by bcnr last night and had this strange sense of melancholy for the rest of the night afterwards. damn. i swear that song ruins my life for like 2 days after i listen to it once
i'm scared i won't have any time to work on this site when school starts again so i'll try to get it up by tonight. also i think i don't wanna do all the sections i have on my index or maybe i wanna do more? idk. this won't be fully finished for a long, long time. but right now i'm hungry i'm gonna find something to eat, goodbye stranger