6/18/25-6/21/25

i'm literally back you guys.
happy pride month to everyone. love you gays. so much.
did you guys know black midi have 4 gay songs? that's your fun fact of the day don't forget it
did you guys also know they made a taylor swift song of all things gay? they were literally just doing anything

also Still the most beautiful song they ever wrote (thank you cam)

bmbmbm
i don't plan these out at all i just think of shit as i go so i was gonna write that i don't remember at all what i've done recently but bitch i literally graduated high school. and i went on a cruise. this memory problems shit is no joke
but yeah graduation was cool. the ceremony itself was cool bro when we were walking to our seats everyone was cheering i was like damn is this what it feels like to be famous…. also i luckily sat in the front (we had assigned seats) so i didn't have to have someones big ass head in front of me while i watched
the student body prez's speech was very cute and funny i can tell she put genuine effort into it i honestly loved it. even though i...didn;t even know she was student body prez until that day but i knew like maybe 10 people in that school so.
but hers was great and so was the like almost valedictorian dude like the guy behind the valedictorian iykwim idek what his title was. but brah i swear the actual valedictorians speech was written by ai or some shit...or he went hella generic for literally no reason. chatgpt moving like 2024 aespa
fuck ai btw
butnjsnchv the ceremony was cool... i didn't cry but it was very scary going on stage i didn't even look at the crowd i just shook (i literally wrote shaked instead of shook at first how did i graduate) all the people on stages hands and got my diploma cover and went where we were supposed to go LOL... but i did do a little wave and peace sign towards my family in the crowd i have a video of it and it's so funny
they didn't tell us to throw our caps at the end but i and a lot of other people did it anyways and it was so sweet and kinda like euphoric and i hugged my friend rly hard at the end :,) i will never forget that part…
also there was a girl at the ceremony who wore like the goth white face makeup and she was rocking that shit i love goths so bad
and there was also a guy who brought a stack of cash on stage and did a money spread on stage and i was like well sure. honestly it was corny but i also kinda loved it like. what an idea. men are so interesting to me
but i'm so happy i graduated!!! i really hated high school for the most part, there were very few things i liked from it. i'm grateful for the friends i made though. and also for giving me the time to listen to so much music on the daily while i did my work seriously that was awesome
as kero kero bonito once said... "I'd like to thank my pets, my friends, my family; I didn't learn a thing anyway!"


slight tangent but whenever i decide to rewatch k-on again i might legit kill myself this time now that i'm graduated... i remember on the definitely illegal anime website i used to watch it a while back (i think it was aniwave omg RIP) i saw this lenghty comment under one of the last episodes talking about how they wished their hs experience was like the one in the show... how they regretted not being able to make many friends... etc... and it stuck to me a bit... it's probably because i can definitely relate. i don't regret much from hs and i don't like comparing myself to anyone but. maybe i wish i just wish i did more. it's not like i don't or didn't have friends but i never went out with them or did really anything in general... i was very much a loner. and i again don't regret it much cuz that's just my personality but... idk i can't say i wasn't a little jealous of the k-on girls literally being in a sick ass band together like bruh. maybe i just wish i could play guitar maybe that's it
but seriously this show means a lot to me, and helped make highschool a little more tolerable for me. it has its flaws but it is so important to me (if you couldn't tell...) and the ending... i really couldn't listen or even think about tenshi no furetayo without crying for a While LOL. it's really very sweet and it revolving around music made it soooo much better. it's so dear to me... ok tangent done. this screenshot just reminded me of what it was like to finish k-on for the first time and i got a bit emotional about it perdoname
dududududu
i also mentioned i went on a cruise that was true i did not lie... i would never lie.
it was cool but man wtf there was no slides on the boat. and i didn't go rock climbing cuz i forgot to bring sneakers or boots. and my dad was being an ass the whole trip. and i didn't bring a swimsuit cuz i thought my mom packed it but she didn't (not her fault but damn). but the food was hella bomb


related to the first pic, i brought my usagi keychain plush on the cruise. but bitch i almost lost them though cuz it fell off my bag in The Bahamas like i was gonna cry seriously. but i walked fast af to get on the boat cuz i was so upset and i saw this little girl holding it and my anxiety just left my body and i went up to her and was like "hi did you find that on the ground?" she said yes and gave it back and her dad said "you see it worked out" so i guess they weren't planning on keeping it in the first place...what a nice family. i guess there really are still kind people out there guys
also i'll put more cruise pics on the eventual photography page #staytuned
is anyone else severely attracted to queen from deltarune in like a super serious way?
deltarune chapters 3 and 4 came out earlier this month..!!!! they were so fun i loved them. i love that game.
but Bro suselle…..Stop. they are way too cute i was literally giggling and kicking my feet at their scenes like it was super serious.
i was honestly stressing after i finished chapter 4 though like bruh......bruh. what is going to happen. i have like no reason to think this will happen but ISTG if noelle dies i'm killing everyone. ok not literally but i'm avoiding weird route like the plague cuz i don't wanna hurt her but these coke rant theories i've seen on twitter are killing me man
if anyone other than like berdly dies something bad will happen. jk i like berdly but god he's so ejkfnjhkebg

slight spoilers here sorry!!... click the arrow to read the rest of my recent deltarune thoughts

tenna is very cute in the like moe way to me. i like the yaoi of him and mettaton i've seen too. literally the most randomest pairing ever but it's really great i like this fanart i saw today it's sooo cute. i literally only use twitter to look at fanart bruh. also queen is there...(tongue emoji) i need her so bad you guys don't understand. let me stop. wait speaking of queen queentenna i found out today is also a thing... i waited 3 and a half years a tv did it in one week. jk i like it it's funny and queen is...
lets' move on...
my favorite boss fight was def the YOUR TAKING TOO LONG pumpkin thing (i don't remember the name) it was too funny and fun and cute at the end when you see what they actually look like... Cute...
i really wonder who the knight is everyone is saying it's dess i wonder if it actually is her that would Also be the most randomest shit ever jk it would make sense. i think
overall the chapters were great the suselle moments brah......it's even funnier how realistic their relationship is like did toby fox study teenage lesbianism before writing them or what. also they're butchfemme like that is literally the cutest thing ever just kill me now bro. you know if they end up being doomed i swear on my own life that i will kill someone.
@tobyfox my requests for chapter 5: another hot woman boss (a la Queen), more suselle yuri moments (pretty much guaranteed if they do actually go to the festival together), hmm...actually can queen just come back? Por favor! also can i be in the game? i can be an npc that's just a little hamster or maybe a centipede. whatever fits with the chapter theme as long as i'm cute and small. if i have a boss fight make me incredibly weak and easy to kill but i'm so cute that no one will want to kill me. Arigato!

in other news not much else has happened...Thank god. but i'm going to college soon *shivers*...Jk i'm kinda hyped. not really. i lied sorry.
i got accepted for financial aid so hopefully fingers crossed i won't have to pay for any of my classes!!...what a relief honestly like i'm broke. i'll still have to check if it covers both years, but even if it doesn't i'm not super worried cuz valencia has some scholarships i can sign up for plus you can apparently work at their library to pay off your tuition??? pretty cool if true
i hope i get some money left over so i can get myself a new laptop my current one is like super slow a lot of the time and dies rly fast when it's not plugged in...So not like ideal for college yk. i've been trying to save myself for it but if i have money left over it'll take so much stress off my shoulders so like Please god omg. i wanted to buy tacos for myself (and my mom) today cuz i was starving but i was like "i need to save..." like i am not built for this i need those tacos man
and if anyone is wondering what i'll be majoring in...for now it's graphic design. yes...i'm an art major..who would've guessed.
it's either that or photography but i think i'll stick to graphic design cuz the photography job market i've hard is quite dull...but i mean is the graphic design one really that much better. Lol. i'm just gonna do what i want and hope for the best liek always...(thumnbs up emoji)

and more news, i am going back to therapy yayyy hopefully yay
this is maybe tmi but i had a bad panic attack the other day and i immediately went to my mom cuz after i had one a whilee back where i swear i felt like i was gonna die she said to always come to her when i feel one start. love you mami. i slept in her bed that night it was very nice...
but the next day we talked about me going back to therapy so i am going to do that....i hope it turns out well. i need to start like just saying everything i'm feeling and maybe it will work.
this program is weird though cuz it's lol i think every other week and the sessions are short like 30 minutes long that's why i'm doubtful about it... but idk. I guess we'll see!
i usually don't talk about mental health stuff like this with literally anyone so this is a little weird for me but yk maybe that's why i'm so fucked up cuz i never talk to anyone about my problems. plus i'm def not the only mentally unwell person on neocities lol #We'reAllInThisTogether
you see yall even i (a perfect person) have my own problems #Nobodysperfect
that was a joke
also i wanna hangout with my friends so bad but i am again trying to save...life is so hard.

onto something completely different i love sheena ringo recently she's sooo talented and genius. i love her album Kalk Samen Kuri no Hana a lot i heard it a few months ago and it has not left my rotation since like it's so good. i also listened to her album Shouso Strip the other day and it's also great i'm obsessed with the song "Kyogenshou" ugghh it's amazing.
"Crime and Punishment" and "Honnou" are also incredible she has such a great voice. that music page will be done before summer ends if it isn't...i'll kill myself. Just kidding



well i think that's all i have to say i will let the images speak for themselves
actually i have one more thing to say: i think i might've gotten scammed on ebay over a kpop photocard and i am so deeply embarrassed.

UPDATE 6/23: i did not get scammed it literally got here today lol. now i can proudly say i've never been scammed on ebay. the whole $12 kpop photocard thing is still pretty embarassing though

ok here's the pictures

5/3/25 but at like 12am - 5/6/25

(yes it took multiple days...i was busy)

i'm back hoes....i did not forget to write an entry last month i just couldn't find the time to write it i guess. i am...employed now....i know. i'm shocked too. but it's been good, the job i mean... it's a little boring but my coworkers are mostly nice, i don't get an exhausting amount of hours, & the pay is pretty good especially since literally like 80% of my paycheck goes towards music related merch (mostly cd's). Sorry for having autism
what else...
OMG. How could i forget... i got a kitten!!!!! she is the cutest most perfect little thing i love her so so much. and i think she loves me too ^_^

her name is Chaeri. i named her after an amazing magdalena bay song that you should listen to Right Now. she is such a little rascal it's so funny...she runs around so much she has way more energy than i thought she would. typical black and white cat behavior...
i also have a bajillion scratches on my body now cuz of her. but it's ok, i think it's her way of telling me she loves me. anyways i'm so happy i got her. i've wanted a cat for yearsss i'm lucky that my cousins cousins sister (lol) was giving out kittens for free too....but i would've payed billions for chaeri. hypothetically
onto the next thing
i went to prom... i mentioned i would last entry and i did go even though i cried the day of cuz i felt uglay...i'm sorry women. but i felt pretty later so idk maybe it was cuz i was wearing a bunch of makeup and i cut my hair a lot it was just too much change but Wow i am so glad i chopped half of my hair off like best decision of my life. i feel so free now.....
i won't put a pic of me (for privacy reasons also i'm scared) but i looked cute! trust me...you trust me right?
but i will put these pictures of all the hair i got chopped off on the ground (peep the south park shorts in the corner), these little desserts they had at prom (cheesecake and chocolate cake, they were both pretty good), and my dog being super shy

but prom was kindof mid...like just not much happened. and they played drake like literally wtf. but all the girls looked gorgeous. and i love seeing beautiful women. so that made it alright. it was also fun to hang out with my friend for a few hours of course and talk about random shit with her
idk how to do dividers in a normal way ok
on to more important events, i played yakuza 3 last month and omg why do people hate this one??? i thought it was so good....the doomed yaoi was like kinda crazy.
the only thing i didn't like was lmao them just verbatim explaining the plot for a whole chapter like yes it was hilarious and i don't always think that's a bad way to explain the plot (Chapter 9: The Plot) of a game or whatever But....i feel like it could've been done better no se...it was lowkey just boring the way they did it
but that (and maybe the fighting being harder for no reason idk is that just a skill issue or is it literally harder than 0 k1 and k2) was my only complaint... it was great. not my favorite yakuza game but it's up there. i mean i've only played like 4 of the games so far but whatever
i love mine... my beautiful toxic gay evil son. He isn't evil he just has a lot to learn
omg and don't even get me started on daigo i love that ugly ass freak....he's like my fave character in the series i lowkey get a kawaii overload when i see him even though he's literally ugly asfuck

JUMPSCARE WARNING him for reference. if you think he's cute or whatever good for you but i personally need him dead.
also back to yakuza 3 bruh i loved the sections where it was legit just kiryu caring for the kids at morning glory peak yakuza gameplay. i'm playing y4 rn and it's pretty good i like the new characters my fave is lowkey akiyama he's funny and just his face is funny to me i can't explain it

i can't remember what else happened last month
hmmm
oh bcnr's new album was great!! i love love love two horses and nancy and for the cold country... two horses is like my favorite song of theirs by far rn. you'll see more written about it once i finish the music page...so not very soon but it's #coming! at like some point
i listened to some good music last month
i also bought cd's like i mentioned (i think) earlier. i officially started my collection this month ^_^ here's a little look at those~

i love cd's so much i'm actually going to a record store this saturday maybe, if it's interesting enough i'll do a little entry about it afterwards on here.
this entry was a lot messier than the last one um...i guess i just don't give a fuck...just kidding i do. love you all
also remember how i said my coworkers are mostly nice? my new manager is an ASSHOLE talking shit about me behind my back and giving me less hours cuz she doesn't like closing with me motherfucker you are 35 beefing with a 17 year old like what are we doing here. god take all of njz's pain and give it to my new manager wtf
well i think i'm done writing. now, the moment you've all been waiting for... the JPEG'S.

byebye!

3/25/25

phewww this page is finally up! not by the time i'm typing this but by the time you, the reader, are seeing this. btw hello~ thanks for reading hehe
i've been working on this site since probably last summer when i was at the peak of my k-on hyperfixation (hence the entire site's theme) and also i remembered neocities existed. i do still love k-on a lot, it's still probably my favorite anime ever but i'll admit i don't watch anime much. but there's something about k-on that's special to me. i can't quite describe it. maybe everything about it? idk.

i was looking for the imgur post where i found every background i've used for this site (minus the homepage's, i found that one on pinterest) and it was linked in a reddit post and the above image was a reply someone left on said post. it feels really relevant. and made a little sentimental. but almost everything has that effect on me really.
moving on, life recently has been pretty ok! i've found out some crazy family related personal stuff (too personal to share) that has made me a little nervous, scared, etc. sometimes i wish i wasn't so empathetic because it's not even my situation yet i emotionally feel as if i'm experiencing it first hand. but i also feel lucky to be so empathetic in a world where it seems like no one even cares about each other anymore! Wow i sounded old there. it's ok.
but seriously i'm okay. i was a bit depressed this week because i got sick and food started to taste bad because of it (somehow i always get sick on school breaks) but i think i'm pretty much healed now. school starts again tomorrow though... which is never good. but i'm kinda excited to listen to my routine walking to class songs and see my friend again. prom is soon, i can't say i'm too excited though i'm just not really a party person at all. dat social anxiety + autism combo really hits when i'm at a party with a bunch of people i'm not very fond of, and i honestly am not very fond of a lot of people at school lol. it's not like i hate everyone but ugh...
but yesterday i went to the mall and bought a very gorgeous dress and also something that i'd say is much more important...

usagi! IYAAAAHAAA!
has anyone else noticed that (i'm pretty sure) usagi is the only character in chiikawa whose dialogue is written in katakana instead of hiragana? i think it's because they're so loud. i love that. that's so funny. they were also the only character i saw plushies of at miniso, not even chiikawa themself had any plushies left. this chiikawa shit gets serious.
when i got home i was exhausted as always (i have the energy of a like 80 year old, i actually think an 80 year old might have more energy than me), i just hung out with my mom and we at like 8pm went out in pj's to buy taco bell. i always love doing little things like that with family. i remember one time i stayed at my cousins and we randomly one night, again in pj's, went to walmart to buy i think just food or maybe milk. idk why that was so great. ...
i did the dishes then my nightly listening to music while scrolling pinterest before going to bed around 12am. i listened to western by bm for like an hour. everything about that song is just perfect. i also listened to basketball shoes by bcnr last night and had this strange sense of melancholy for the rest of the night afterwards. damn. i swear that song ruins my life for like 2 days after i listen to it once
i'm scared i won't have any time to work on this site when school starts again so i'll try to get it up by tonight. also i think i don't wanna do all the sections i have on my index or maybe i wanna do more? idk. this won't be fully finished for a long, long time. but right now i'm hungry i'm gonna find something to eat, goodbye stranger